All parents want to raise well-adjusted, successful children. (For Christians, that means more than just making them finish their broccoli or do their homework; it means teaching them to know the Lord). But parenting, like so much of life, does not begin with a practice session in the shallow end. Parents looking for flotation should read Teach Them Diligently by Lou Priolo.
Many Christian parenting resources claim to be biblical, but fail to emphasize the role of the gospel; others are merely repackaged pop-psychology. Priolo argues that in child training, as in all aspects of life, the Bible is both necessary and sufficient to guide us. I appreciate the simplicity of the Biblical Counseling model, which Priolo practices, because it sees all of man’s problems as the result of sin and prescribes nothing more or less than the gospel for healing.
How liberating that instead of a PhD in child psychology, parents need only live out the principles of Scripture and apply them to their children’s lives. Yet at the same time, one feels the heaviness of that monumental task. “If you . . . are going to teach your children God’s Word, you must know the Scriptures yourself,” says Priolo. To do that requires sanctified effort and the power of the Spirit.
Priolo stresses the importance of “teaching in the milieu” (French for setting or environment). That is, explaining and applying the Scripture to daily life. This is the meaning of Deuteronomy 6:6-9 which commands parents to teach God’s Word “when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”
Along with teaching, parents must also give correction to their children. The Biblical process of correction involves more than mere behavior modification. Rather, the parent uses the Scripture to lovingly convict the child of his sin and sinfulness before God. For this to happen, Priolo notes, it’s important to define problems in Biblical terms (for example, the Bible never addresses being strong-willed, but it does warn against being self-willed).
I appreciate Priolo’s nuanced argument for spanking. Yes, corporal punishment has an important function, but it’s no magic formula. Without love, without consistency, and without reproof, the rod only angers. “God’s discipline produces good fruit,” says Priolo, “selfish discipline will produce alienation.”
While at times the book felt like a compilation of lecture notes, the force of Priolo’s ideas outweigh any organizational deficiencies. Parent or not, you will no doubt feel convicted, as I did, of your own need for sanctification and the Spirit’s power.